At a birthday brunch this past weekend a couple friends and I decided what a great idea it was to make goals for the year. I now have 24 goals to complete by next June. One of my goals (although not an original, for it only became a goal 2 minutes ago) is to blog regularly.

The thing about goals is that it is automatic accountability, if you share them that is. I like the motivation and competition behind it. They have been written on paper, shared with friends and there's no turning back. I'm not going to write my goals out, I'm just sharing that I am going to attempt a more regular blog.

Today is the first attempt of such.

I have been having a few conversations lately on open-theism. Please excuse my ignorance, but my best attempt to explain it is that it is a spectrum. On one side you've got open-theism, which is the belief that your fasting and prayers change God's mind, that the amount of heart, time and discipline of a prayer determines the outcome. Where as the complete opposite side of the spectrum, let's call it closed-theism, more for laughs then reality, is God is sovereign and in control of all and there is no amount of prayer or fasting one can do to change anything for He alone is God.

Both sides scare me.
Side A, can result in self-righteousness and playing God. If we believe that God is Creator, Governor and Preserver of all things, then I don't know how we can even for a second think that us, mere mortals, can do or make anything happen or not happen.
Side Z, can result in a really apathetic and undisciplined lifestyle and a prayer life that is dead - and really wonder in this case, what is the point of praying.

Though, if given only those two extremes, I think I would tend to lean far more towards open-theism then anything.

I guess balance is really key here. To know that God is sovereign but to believe that prayer is necessary for world changing results.

This has all got me thinking about prayer, and thinking about how I have experienced prayer. There was a time in my life when I was a disciplined list prayer. I would get my prayer list out everyday - pray for people by name and for specific situations. When I think about those days, or read journals from those days I really see where God has answered prayer. And I wonder if my fasting and praying did something to make that happen, is it why God did what I asked him to, or, here's the kicker, was it simply that because of the discipline and intensity, were my eyes open to it more.

I don't know. I still think it is better to think like an open-theist then a 'closed'-theist, but I don't see how it lines up doctrinally. Can you be an open-theist, yet still honor God in fullness as Creator, Governor, and Preserver of all things?

On a lighter note, saw my second Coldplay show last night, which actually has me in thought about worship...stay tuned.

You'll want to check out 100 Huntley Street, Tuesday 6AM (BC Time) Major Winn Blackman is on talking about Human Traffiking.

Today marks my 500th post.
Today is also one of my greatest friend's birthdays...Tasha Chooi.
It is a bit of a longer read, but it is worth it, I assure you.
Plus there's a video I want you to watch at the end.

When I get hopeless, I remind myself of people like Tasha, and I find hope.

I met Tasha when she was like 12, but we began our friendship about three years after that. After a messy breakup and moving out on her own, Tash was left hurting and broken. I won't put out details, but I'm sure if you asked she would love to tell you her testimony. When I moved to Victoria I met a very sweet and fun girl, but I also met someone who had been damaged. We became friends right away and I cannot explain in words the love I have for her. I was in Victoria for my summer assignment with The War College (see http://www.thewarcollege.com/) and moved back to Vancouver. The plan wasn't to come back to Victoria, but 9 months later there I was. I came back to a Tasha who had given up. Who was hurting so bad you could see it all over her. She tried to put a smile on, and looked beautiful doing it, but if you knew Tash, you knew she was hurting. Over the next few months I saw Tasha fall hard. She kept falling and falling and I kept loving her and loving her. At times I thought she was going to die, and I would cry out to the Lord to rescue her, but it seemed the more I did that the further she went. Addictions began to rule her life, and I joined in with the Father weeping bitterly for her return. Six months later, after an attempt to reunite with her dad failed, she found herself homeless and more broken then ever. This is when she moved in with me. Those were some of the best days of my life, and some of the hardest and most trying too. Our friendship was on the rocks. Addiction, lying and rebellion were Tasha's masters. It hurt so bad watching the enemy grab her, and hold her and lure her away. Things got pretty bad and we had to ask her to leave. I still don't know if this was for the best. I thought our friendship was over for sure and it grieved me so much. That lasted a week.

No matter how much I prayed, how much people tried to help her, she was so entangled in the enemy's lies and schemes, I honestly lost all hope she would ever return to Christ. I wrote a song for Tasha. It is based on the parable of the Prodigal Son. Maybe I'll even record it and post it as a gift for Tash, for now check out the lyrics.

She was with him, and asked may I go.
He said yes, but take my blessing with you.
So off she went on her own and treated his gift like dirt.
Now she is out there lost and is so hurt.

The Father says, I'll welcome you, so come to me.

She is so far away so far away is she.
She is so far away so far away.

The Father says, I welcome you, come to me.

He sees her in the distance and begins to prepare.
He gets out his finest wine and sets her place.
He puts on his finest robe and he waits.

The Father says, I welcome you, so come to me.

As she approaches he runs to her.
He wraps his arms around her neck and his tears wet her hair.

The Father says, I've welcomed you, please stay with me.

When I wrote this song, Tasha was in the second verse. Hurt, lost, alone, scared and so far away. The final verses were sung prophetically for her. (I don't want to give away the punch line of this post, but I think it's safe to assume it has a happy ending. I now rejoice that Tasha's life more reflects the last verse of the above song.)

Around this time I hit a pretty hard rock bottom in my life. Long story short (and I don't want to take Tasha's thunder away either) things got pretty bad for me that I had to quit my job and move back to surround myself with community.

July 1st 2007 marks the day I moved. Praise God it doesn't mark the day Tasha and I stopped being friends. I still consider Tasha one of my closest friends and I am blessed beyond measure in that. The next year and a half Tasha went through many more trials. More messy relationships, more moving, more rejection. I longed to be with Tasha holding her close, but distance separated us this time.

Like I said, I had lost a lot of hope in Tasha returning to Christ. I don't mean that to sound terrible. The entire time I still loved Tasha, I still prayed for her, I still trusted the Lord to save her but I couldn't see it.

Yet now, Tasha continues to surprise me with her ever increasing wisdom and ever increasing faith. She has abandoned many idols in her life. She is running forward into the arms of Christ. Now when I talk to her she always talks about how good God has been to her, how she is getting freer daily. She is being discipled by fabulous people. She is Highpoint Corps music directer. Tasha brings me great joy and great hope. When days look bad, and when I see people I love fall down over and over, I remind myself of people like Tasha and my hope is restored.

Tasha writes for the Highpoint blog, http://www.pointful.ca/, every Friday. This is her most resent post - and I encourage you to read it as it highlights her testimony a bit and has a pretty encouraging bio at the bottom.

Just in case you don't read it, but I encourage you to, I've attached a video to my blog as she has on hers. It is the gospel in choreodrama form. It brings me to tears every time I watch it...which is a pretty frequent thing for me these days, because I frequent Tasha's blog. This is a very long blog as it is, so I'm not going to preach or whatever about the clip, I'll do that in a couple days. But please watch it. And please, please, please, if you identify yourself with Tasha's story or the girl in the video keep running to Christ. Keep pressing you in. He is longing for you to come home.




Happy Birthday Tasha!

16 days without blogging, surely I can do better then that.
I was out of town for five of them, no excuse really, more of a segway into this blog.

Those five days I spent in Minneapolis Minnesota with a crowd from 24-7 Prayer. Check 'em out at http://www.24-7prayer.com/, and be sure to hit the 'communities' section and then scroll down to 'Vancouver 614'. But don't neglect the rest either - good site, good guys.

I didn't really know why I was going to this 24-7 gathering, or what would happen. I got asked, and I like travelling and networking and Aaron, so I went. It was really good, but if asked why it was so good, I don't know if I could give a concrete answer.

Hear me out as I process the week.

The first couple days I got to sit in on an international leaders meeting where I guess some of the logistics and operations of 24-7 happened. It was great to sit in and kinda get a sneak peek at it all, and see how it runs a little more clearly. If you're Salvo affiliated, I suppose it would be like a 24-7 rep sitting in on a DHQ meeting, where you don't necessarily know what is meant by the militant terms or structure system, but by sitting in you get a bit more informed. We talked about some really cool things - and as soon as some get ironed out a bit I'll blog about that. In the meantime go back to the 24-7 website above and click on the 'learning' link and read about Transit.

The next few days were the International Communities Gathering. This is where people from most (if not all) the North American Boiler Rooms came together. Here, we prayed a lot, surprise. They were split into 2-3 hour sessions given a topic or scripture and prayed. The first one we read chunks of Scripture from John 14 through to 16 and prayed. So it was basically a 3 hour Pray the Bible for those of you familiar with the context here. The next one was about a lot actually, I don't want to define it, but the Spirit of Adoption and how as Community we can adopt people in, and not just in theory but in family. That was my favourite one - it's close to my heart. Then on the last day we spent solid time praying and laying on hands for each Boiler Room Community - really good stuff.

And of course in all of that there were fires on roofs, tattoos, really hot weather, meals on blankets, and a wackload of great people.

Coming back to the original question I keep asking myself, why so great? Perhaps it was something new and fresh. Something that made things like unity and covering and fitting in a bit more real. Or something that made me feel special. I'm not sure. But it was really really good. People I've never met before were so great, I sure hope people react to us as a community the same way. To come visit people they've never met, and going back refreshed and loved. Hey why not come visit us and let us know!

I do have something profound to say, I know it. I just left my journal at home that has all I want to write about. In the meantime let's talk about politics and study.

We have a Provincial Election on Tuesday. I'm going to vote- I'm just still torn on who to vote for. There was an add in the Newspaper today claiming the NDPs were going to jack up the price of alcohol. The add was supposed to deter you away from voting NDP, but it had the opposite effect for me...though torn I still am.

Neither of the two parties I am debating between have exactly what I would want in a government. I've got to examine, pray and decide after I've weighed the cost. But I'll take your opinion into consideration also.

If I vote one way I'll see poverty decline and an end to war, yet I'll also see same sex marriage and drug legalisation.

If I vote the other way I'll see less firearms, higher age of consent and pro(er) life morals, yet I'll also see the rich get richer and the poor get poorer and more war.

(assuming of coarse my vote votes the Premier in)

So study... I'm thinking of going to school.
Law stuff maybe?
But why?
Why not?

and because I said April's goal was 7 posts.
Here we are at post number 7
:)

Because I said my next blog would be sweet stories from The War Room.
Here it goes.
I fell in love in The War Room. Over and over and over again, I fall in love with Christ. The way he greets me, the way he holds me, the way he whispers to me. That's the sweetest it gets. Can't get much sweeter.

Some other great things have happened in TWR. It's where I fell in love with Leighanne. Leighanne has been a dear friend to us here in the DTES from the very beginning. One of those old faithfuls you never expect will leave, and she hasn't let us down yet. One time I was in TWR, not too long ago actually, she came up and flatly said I want to go on the next journey. Because she has been down here forever I was actually surprised to hear she had never gone on the journey - a spiritual getaway for Women of the DTES. That night we talked and prayed in TWR and I fell in love with her.

I remember my first day walking into the War Room. The sweetness and presence of God was thick and beautiful.

The War Room has taught me discipline and accountability.
I have met with the Lord over and over and over again and have been blessed and healed and set free over and over and over again.

Detailed stories will come later - first It'll be nice if you can leave a comment with your favourite War Room Stories.

I know I said April post #5 would be on The War Room...but I was reading this in the paper this morning - and wanted to post it, as I beleive it to be important. I'll write about TWR next, I assure you.
---
Insite's appeal goes to court today.
A year ago, InSite was given a one year extension on their application to remain open. That year is up on 30 June. Today they go to court to appeal the federal government's decision in hopes of remaining open.

I know InSite and the idea of a "safe" injection site is controversial, and I'm not telling you to pick one side or the other, but I am urging us all to be in prayer. Pray for the Father's heart. Pray for those in/near our neighbourhoods and workplaces who are trapped in addiction. The courts decision will effect our workplaces, friends and neighbours. It will effect the homelessness rate and the death rates. Please pray.

If you're up for it, fast and pray for the courts to deny InSite's proposal to remain open

InSite is the only supervised injection site in North America.
InSite opened in 2003, since then it has seen over 1, 000, 000, 000 injections.
There have been 2395 overdoses.
Please pray.

There is a community garden here in the DTES we help run. If I had a photo of it, I would post it with this blog, but since I don't I will describe the scene to you until I find one.

On Hastings Street, between Main and Columbia lies this patch of beauty in the midst of horror. Main and Hastings is known notoriously. Locals call this intersection Pain and Wastings and are quite accurate in doing so. The drug rates and disease rates are climbing high, fast. Poverty and addiction have taken over these streets. People are dying down here everyday. Garbage, including used needles and condoms, complete the decor of the DTES.

Next door to InSite, our local needle exchange and "safe" injection site where people walk into death daily, lies a beautiful garden full of life and beauty. This is our community garden. You walk down Hastings and see constant death but then as your eyes meet with this garden you are then instantly reminded of hope and life and beauty. I can't describe to you the beauty of it - but it is nicely juxtaposed surrounded by such despair.

Not only is it a source of hope to the eye - it is also quite practical. Part of the whole poverty thing leaves a lot of our neighbours hungry and/or malnourished, but with a garden full of vegetables that hunger can be satisfied.

It actually took me a while to dig the garden (no pun intended). I had no interest in it, and thought it was almost pathetic that others were so into it. I wouldn't be vocal with that opinion and would show up to garden when I could- but thought it was a waste of time, and valuable space too. I found it a waste of time because I could think of a million things that seems more important and practical then gardening. This opinion of mine lasted for months.

It wasn't until I was in there one day and I saw the growth. There were pea's growing and ready to eat. I picked one up, and it wasn't until I ate it that I was able to see that this was good. Taste and see that the Lord is good. It was then I realised how a beautiful presence is important and not a waste of time. I realised then that our hungry friends and neighbours could have access to free, nutritious food. I realised that spending time in the garden also brought us many new friends as people would come in to see whats going on. I also began to understand all the kingdom parallels this garden could teach us.

So now, my opinion has completely flipped regarding this garden. It's beautiful and our neighbours are genuinely happy it is here, mostly because of the beauty it brings to the DTES.

Last April I blogged 6 times, this is only post number 3 and the month ends in less then two weeks - plus I'm going out of town this week so my blogging days are limited. And 6 is a shy number in itself. April Goal: blog 7 times.

It's not that I have a lack of things to say, far from it actually. Maybe that's the issue, I have so much to say, I just can't pick!

I know I already wrote a bit about prayer - but because that's where I am at, that's what I'll continue to write about.

I live in a really neat neighbourhood and I live with really neat people. One of the coolest things we do is pray. My favourite prayer season we have been in is when we take 3 hours shifts and go 24/7 - non stop prayer - one time we did it for 4 years, not to brag - but come on - it is pretty cool.

I think though we have now entered my new favourite prayer rhythm.

There are 4 different 'faith communities' here in the DTES. We're not that special - basically all we do is move into the DTES and make friends. Though we are similar, we each bring something unique to the table. I'm part of 614, which is a Salvation Army Corps, there is also one called St. Ciara's community (Anglican background I believe), Servants (http://www.servantsasia.org/index.php/canada/vancouver-community), and Jacob's Well (http://www.jacobswell.ca/?page_id=10). We are all friends and often spin off each other for various things - we've had people from all three teach at our War College (http://www.thewarcollege.com/), as well as we have taught/shared with them. We've shared babysitters and pastoral care. We have also all been a part of a community garden (perhaps I'll blog about that for April blog #4)

This past month though, I think we have really begun to taste the fullness of unity, the unity of prayer. 614 has a 24/7 prayer room and for most of that time we have prayed non-stop 24 hours a day 7 days a week (April blog #5 shall have some really sweet stories from there). So we begun the first week of April with a community meal shared by the above four mentioned communities and for that first week Servants, Jacob's Well and St. Ciara's joined us in our non-stop prayer rhythm. This past week was the Servants host week and we joined in with their prayer rhythm, which was three time daily prayers. Due to schedule I didn't get to catch any of the afternoon ones, but I got to as many morning and evening prayers as I could. The mornings we prayed liturgy together - I've done liturgical prayers here and there - but there was a fullness to them doing them with the Servants - for with it they brought an authority of discipline. The evenings was a Taize chant, followed by reading a Psalm and then a quiet reflection of your day with the LORD. I very very very rarely fit in a daily silent reflection time - but after experiencing that with the Servants - I shan't stop. I can't - I've tasted and seen how good it is, and now before I retire to bed I plan to continue in this rhythm personally. If we hadn't joined together in prayer, I wouldn't have developed this now necessary-for-me discipline. Next week is Jacob's Well's week and I'm looking forward to joining in with their host week, and St. Ciara's to follow.

We'd be fools to think that we got it all - that we don't need each other. Sure I could continue with my own prayer rhythms or that of my community, and probably still be okay, and probably still meet with the Lord and probably still be refined over and over- but golly I'd be missing out on a whole lot. There are things that other communities, fellowships, Christians and Church traditions bring that I'd never see on my own, just as I'm sure there are things I/we could bring elsewhere to deepen others. We only know in part now, one day we will see in full...until then we need to be seeking the fullness - which this past week has taught me comes in the unity of prayer.

I think prayer is hands down the most intimate and personal thing you can do with Christ. Where you can meet him in your brokenness and joy. Where mysteries are unveiled and striving ceased. As personal and intimate as it is, there is a great fullness that comes when you pray for one another with one another. I said in my last post that I think praying without ceasing is not only attainable but our mandate as believers - I think I also want to propose that praying together is just as attainable and mandated.

Life from last week to this week hasn't really changed at all.

The same things that I was rejoicing over I still rejoice in. The same things that were burdening I still mourn over. My schedule remains the same and the people in my life haven't changed either. But last week I was overwhelmed, emotional, feeling like I was letting everyone down and ready to give up - and this week I am full of peace. Full stop.

But like I said, life from last week to this week haven't really changed at all.

I am prone to wander when I am overwhelmed. I am prone to seek man's advice and comfort when I am fearful and alone. Last week I was in that place where everything feels like it is falling apart, and when one thing goes wrong after another, and when your family is suffering and your friends are suffering and you are suffering and hope is far from your radar. And in those times I am prone to give up praying too.

I am a firm believer of praying without ceasing - I think it is entirely possible, doable and I might even be so bold to say it is our mandate as believers. Knowing fully there have been times I wouldn't be able to receive a longest prayer award - I still think we must.

I did something this past week that surprised me, perhaps it will surprise you too: In the midst of chaos and turmoil where I am quick to give up I prayed! (Shocking I know). Why did that surprise me? Why did the peace and freedom I received from prayer blow my socks off? I'm not sure - it's pretty elementary - the whole prayer thing - in Philippians 4 Paul even testifies to this:

Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

As an intercessor I am aware of the warfare around it - and be prepared for warfare, but also be prepared and expectant of God's peace as you pray. Pray without ceasing. If you won't listen to me, listen to Paul. It may be elementary, but it is so so so good.

May the God of PEACE, touch you.