Have you ever done something you regret - and then even after the fact, still can't stop thinking about it and even if you have been forgiven cant forgive yourself and its all you think about for the next ion...well I sure have, and infact am there now...

I was at work yesterday and asked some of the residents here if they ever felt that way. One guy said "ya, said I love you too, and didnt mean it".

Really, in short thats what I did. I said I love you too. I said it by my words, but did I really mean it. For if I did I would have shown it so in my actions too.

It hurts so much the more when someone you care about says I love you in words but is not followed through in actions. I've been on the recieving end of this far too often - and yet I am grieving Holy Spirit now, I am greieving the Father's heart. I am greiving those who care about me...my friends and family. And Im sorry.

Jesus says if you love me you will obey my commands.
Ouch - I guess I dont love Jesus. I guess I dont love you.
Sorry.