I was reminded in cell today that when trials come our way to consider it pure joy - because these are the times that our endurance and perseverance has a chance to grow.

A hard concept to fully get sometimes I think. It is a concept I have let slide these past few weeks. Why? Its simple really, if you knew what was going on with me right now, and some of you do, it's nothing to rejoice over. Things suck. And I really don't see any reason to look at any of it and be joyful over it.

A couple weeks ago though, I was considering this season of mine (I haven't fully figured out what kind of season I'm in - one of healing and restoration i suppose) a time of joy - oh but how quickly that has turned around. The Devil is so quick at manipulating situations eh. Two weeks ago I was excited at where the LORD was taking me and looking ahead at the freedom he promised...and now I sit here and reflect on the past two weeks and realise that I have reverted back to old habits and old ways of thinking. Instead of considering this time a time of joy, I have allowed joy to be stolen from me and have sat in defeat, sorrow and sin.

Not anymore. I will not let things be stolen from me anymore. I want that joy back, that excitement for freedom. I just don't know how to do that.

Friends - I need you. That's what went wrong. Two weeks ago I let my friends deep into my inner being, my core. Then the stupid effing devil managed to have me believe that people really didn't care about me, so I began to isolate myself and try things on my own. BAD idea. Friends - I need you.

That's another thing I was reminded in cell today. We went over the story of Shadrach, Michack and Abendago. And it was brought up that as a community they were able to be strong and say "We will not bow down to your God, and even if He doesn't rescue us from the furnace, we still will not bow down". Someone mentioned that if they were alone, it wouldn't be as easy to say that, but as friends, as partners in the same mission, and as a community who had each others backs, these three buddies (who I cant help but picture as a cucumber, tomato and asparagus) could hold each other up, and take this opportunity and consider it pure joy.

Friends, DON'T BE ALONE - its dangerous. You will never have joy in trials when you face them on your own.

I LOVE YOU

God is here.

Currently Reading "Ill Fight" by Phil Wall and "Beauty for Ashes" by Joyce Meyer.