That Was Then, This Is Now

Some of you I have lived with for the past year, some of you I saw on a regular basis, and some of you I talked to once in a while. The one thing you all have in common is you have all asked me what had been bothering me lately. Well heres the thing...bear with me, Im not much for volnerability....

The past 12 months have been crazy. Last spring I was doing very well. I was super close to God, I was in authentic community, and I was in constant growth and revelation. The summer was awesome, made good friendships better, and learned so much while walking in leadership at camp. The fall came and I grew alot during the first few months of the War College, but then stuff that I had kept bottled down, real deep began to surface becuase, hey thats what community does, and the Lord was entereing me into a season of refining and healing. James 5 says "Confess your sins to eachother and you will be healed" I didnt do that, and I wasnt being healed...I also mastered avoiding community, and dealing with some of the stuff I was dealing with was extra difficult because I was doing it alone.

Turns out, the root of all my anger, rebellion, fear, pride, shame, etc was rejection. I have alot of rejection issues...Im not going to go into them all, but they root back to my fetus days, and the topper of all my pain was in grade 7 I was ditched by all my friends, and I turned to addiction which clearly didnt heal me of rejection issues, only added to them...but identifying the weight that has been pulling me down has been helpful because now I can trade it for the light burden Jesus has to offer.

Why this sudden change? Ive been stuck in this rut of heavyness and wearyness for the last few months, only to feel a difference now. Well the simple answer is definetly moving to Victoria... Like what I mean is its been less then 24 hours since the Lord revealed some of my rejection issues, and allready He has placed me in a place where Im being showered with acceptance, and He has personally brought me into a place where I am able to receive it... But simply, my issue is rejection, and the opposite spirit of acceptance, has proven effective.

Well, thats probally the first and last time you may ever here my personal issues, so enjoy it! I will be posting normally again shorty...

Thank you guys for pushing me to tell you whats been going on, and for praying for me...bless you.